I always thought that "toxic masculinity" is when a man mindlessly folows a bad stereotype of what a man should be. Like not talking about feelings, banging everything he sees, being agresssively competitive etc, not because he wants it but because this is what a man should be in his eyes. I'm not 100% sure, someone correct me if I'm wrong
Im not making this up
10 minutes ago my coworkers (3 girls) just said that men are utterly useless
I walked in and said that its very weird to hear that conversation from the other room (doors are open between offices) and they just looked at me and said "well its just a fact"
That is toxicity in my opinion
There are concepts that help you categorize a certain type of behavior and draw conclusions by associating it with other characteristics or behavior patterns. So there absolutely is toxic masculinity and femininity, but I'm guessing your gripe is with the way they are used.
There are toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. But people forgot that there are regular masculinity and femininity exits too, which we need for a functioning relationship.
Toxic masculinity involves cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way.
These pressure comes from men and women. If it's targetin men it's toxic masculinity, if it's targeting women it's toxic femininity.
See. The problem is that people don't want stereotypes. Whether it's based on gender or race or whatever.
But they have no problem slapping 'men toxic stereotypes' on men's back.
Double standard.
But there are indeed toxic stereotypes associated with both "being a real man" and "being a real woman" that are being performed by people because they believe that's what they must do to be perceived as "real" man or woman.
I knew someone like this. We would be in an outdoor cottage for a weekend and it would heavily rain outside. While everybody agreed to simply have a beer inside, play some games and listen to music, this idiot would start saying that we were just a bunch of pussies and that real men don't care about the rain and then he would proceed to go outside in the rain with only a t-shirt to try to start a fire. He would also put super spicy sauce on literally anything because "real men can eat super spicy food and pussies can't" (his exact words). In his mind, a man was supposed to be an extreme version of a stereotype 90s action movie heroes and every men who didn't try to be this masculine were just a bunch of beta pussies.
Really hate this entire bullshit
And every single fucking person on both sides
But the fact nobody talks or cares
About toxic feminine behaviour
Like it doesnt exist
Should isntantly tell u its all bullshit
And u should ignore these lunatics
I've shown a friend that "toxic masculinity" doesn't exist. He insisted it did. I asked him to "Define it. Don't give me examples. I want a clear cut rule set for it." and he sat there. "Hold on... well... I guess you're right. I can't really define it."
Toxic masculinity doesn't mean that it's a toxic men but that it is toxic behaviour towards men. The gender of the toxic person doesn't matter, it's the gender of the victim of that toxicity that defines if it's toxic masculinity or femininity.
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