Discover Buddhism. Eventually you'll get the notion that there is nothing constant and that just observing is not that bad. Of and yes a good therapists and SSRI help a lot.
Bro I tried that but you know what..its not about being happy while living its about just living now..my advice instead of trying to make life happier..just rage..hate it..show your hatred towards it by not letting it consume you
You are formless awareness beyond the mind, body and emotions. Thoughts are just passing clouds that you need not ene with or accept their suggestions. Find no mind, and be free...May you all be free.
Why you carry it?
I'm old too, I use to be like you, but recently I had discover that you don't need to do any effort to keep things as usual. I use to torture myself with guilt and looking for ways to overcome my situation, but at this age nothing I can do can change things, so I had let it go.
Maybe it's because my heart is weak and I'm on the last quarter of my lungs, but believe me, I cannot "carry" anything and it doesn't matter anyway.
So, my advice, if you still want it, is to let it go the weight. It will come with you or it will not, it doesn't matter, anyway you will be relieved.
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